Dead Serious #027 When someone makes you feel really bad about yourself!
Dead Serious #027 (MP3-16.49MB- 48.03min)
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How do you cope with it when you’re “sailing along” quite nicely and someone throws you a “curve ball”?
It may be someone you know well or someone you’ve never met, but they say or do something that makes you feel really bad about yourself. They make you feel hurt, angry or sad………………how should you respond?
This happened to me twice this week and I decided it was worth detailed exploration on the show. I was feeling great, balanced, happy and ‘normal’ when out of the blue, someone I don’t know personally (but had always admired) sent me an email that shattered my happiness and made me feel angry and hurt. I’d just processed my responses to this when ‘low and behold’, a colleague sent me an email that made me feel worse………… as this person expressed that she felt hurt about something I had done……… unintentionally.
How do we deal with this? Why do we need everyone to like us? How do we respond when out of the blue, someone lets us know that they don’t like something we’ve done or worse still, they don’t like US?
These are the issues I explore on today’s show. I look at why we respond in the ways we do and how we can retreat in the face of attack, ‘lick our wounds’, recover and reemerge stronger and more resilient. How we can release the fear, anger and hurt and reconnect with the inate goodness that resides in all of us.
The show finishes with simple meditation exercise anyone can use when stressed, angry or hurt, to acknowledge the feelings, release them and heal.
An amazing track is included in the show from the Dynamo’s Rhythm Aces………………bet you can’t guess what it is!!!!!
The show is recorded on Skylook
March 16th, 2006 at 3:03 am
A very powerful show today - thank you!
I had some messages like this recently, ones which caused me to seriously question my assumptions about my job and relationships to others at work. I’ve found that e-mail is the worst possible way to express emotion and discuss sensitive topics, so I also didn’t immediately respond over e-mail. In fact, some of the most helpful resources I’ve found are to reconnect with people I know are supporters - my wife, some friends, and so on. My challenge is to get past the bitching and whining as quickly as possible, to move on to thoughtful and constructive action.
You also talked about the difficulty of emptying your mind. I’ve experienced this as well, and the solution I’m currently using is to use highly repetitive prayer as a means of spiritual connection, and filling my mind with thoughts that I *want* to have rather than all the random stuff that wants to pop up when I go to bed. It’s been very helpful, and also for helping me go back to sleep when I awake in the middle of the night.
I’ve also found it very useful to leave messages for myself from one day to the next - that keeps me from trying to spend mental cycles trying to remember things. This is VERY useful. My wife is now not surprised when I call my voice mail at 10pm to leave a message for myself. It’s weird maybe, but it works.
Thanks for the great shows!