What to wear to funerals?
Funny question I know, but it has been asked of me in response to the shows we did on Funerals.
My answer……….(mindful that I’m not the all knowing auricle) ……………firstly follow cultural traditions. if it is culturally significant to wear black, or white or orange………………do so. If it’s culturally significant for women to cover their heads (wear a hat, scarf etc.) do so.
If there is no cultural dress requirement……………..the answer is less clear, but these are the things I would consider:
- Wear something respectful but appropriate eg. an old pair of track pants and a torn teeshirt would not appear respectful for the funeral of an aged aunt, but may be appropriate for the funeral of a young person who was into ‘grunge’.
- Wear something you feel comfortable in as it will be a long day (so stilleto heels might not work, particularly if you intend to go to the cemetry as you will sink into the lawn)
- Don’t wear the sort of clothes you’d wear to a nightclub…………….you’re not there to “pick up” but to celebrate the life of someone you care about who has died.
- Make sure you take an umbrella and wear a coat if it’s in the winter as the grave side service is stressful enough without being freezing cold and wet from an unexpected downpour of rain.
- Make sure your clothes are clean and ironed………..go to some trouble……..remember you loved this person!
- Have a haircut, shower, and shave (if youre a bloke) and girls, make sure you wear subtle makeup (remember, mascara and dark eyeshadow don’t respond well with tears)
- Take or wear your sunglasses, this can make you feel more comfortable to cry openly (if you want to)
- Lastly, make sure you take plenty of handerchefs or tissues, there’s nothing worse than loud ’sniffing’ during a funeral service, it can really distract people from the reason they are there.
Sometimes it is easier if there are rules about dress, it makes the decision making process more certain. When this is not the case, just remember that you loved this person and you are going to say “goodbye”, so dress comfortably but thoughtfully. You don’t need to rush out and buy a new suit (though you may do this if it makes you feel more comfortable), so long as you present yourself in a way that is respectful and takes time, because this too………….the preparation………..is part of the ritual.